SJennyAs many of you know, my life has had a major hit. My mother passed suddenly in April and EVERYTHING shifted. My priorities shifted, my consideration of what others may need from me shifted, what I had to give to others shifted, my focus on moving through the days shifted, my tolerance of people complaining about things shifted … In my grief (which continues to evolve), I surrendered to my need to just rest. And, when you rest and no one is around you to pick up the slack … environmental chaos can follow. There is definitely some truth in the idea that your environment reflects what is going on inside you.
Everything just became incomplete. The laundry never quite made it to the drawers. The dishes never quite made it into the dishwasher. The thoughts in my mind drifted off incomplete, and my memory functioned at a fraction of what it did normally.
It has been almost 8 weeks since my mom passed (and it seems like yesterday and forever ago all at once) and one of the most challenging school years is coming to an end. I am trying to really focus on BREATHING DEEPLY. In fact, I have a little alarm on my phone that reminds me to breathe each day because when we are stressed, we shallow breathe. And as long as we are doing that, our bodies are waiting for a sabertooth tiger attack. That is NOT good for the long term. I was back to basics. BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.
So, I took this as an opportunity to self-coach. I focused on my BlissBase and I made doctor appointments, chiro appointments, reflexology … anything to start focusing on getting myself aligned in my new reality. I focused on water intake, movement of any kind, rest, eating the best I could, self-care and focusing on what was going ok. I do life assessments with all of my clients, so I sat down and did my own and realized that chaos in my environment was one of the first things I needed to address. Not only was it meditative in a different way to be DOING/CREATING something while thinking it also helped me deal with the anxiety I was feeling.
As I moved through my home, I thought about how I could have my intentions show up in the spaces I created. I decided to focus first outside since our summer is short and I really wanted to enjoy the yard as much as I could. I wanted to purge the garage of clutter and extras in prep for an easier winter. I wanted to toss little things that had collected in the corners over time. I wanted every space to be functional and easy to take care of so that I had space to BREATHE DEEPLY, REST, HEAL… I wanted to feel surrounded by nourishment.
So, I went to the shed. And I cleaned it out, tossed, or donated what I didn’t need. Repurposed some old shower curtains and hung them at the back of the shed to hide the storage shelves that I still needed for a few things. I moved the smaller patio furniture set inside, ran a cord for power inside, and (not shown here), purchased a magnetic double screen door so that this room will remain enjoyable even when the mosquitos come out in full force. I affectionately call this the “rain room” and as a lover of storms and watching the moon glow I know I will be writing in here. This is almost an outdoor version of my indoor “zen den” but I wasn’t quite done here yet.
Next up, I wanted to create a space I knew my mom would have loved to come to sit and visit with me. She loved spring and gardens and flowers. I bought almost every flower I saw that I knew she would love. I went about setting up a space that had the sound of water (fountain), fire (she loved a great fire), and a sense of EXHALE. My daughter scored the old tree log from our new neighbors and carved it out and planted herbs in it (mom would have loved this!)
I have a “mom” plaque from a friend placed upfront and another one to add. I have rehung some decor that had fallen off the wall (so this is not a final picture). I added overhead lights so the space is enjoyable in the evening. I moved my larger patio set into this nook between the rain room and my house and have created a peaceful oasis that both I will enjoy until fall. I will also think of my mom every time I am there and I hope that brings me comfort. She will continue to be a part of the important conversations and family gatherings too.
When COVID hit last year, I bought a cheap above-ground pool so that if we were locked up we still could enjoy our summers. I put that up again on my concrete patio, which bumped all my patio sets to other locations but I am thrilled with this space. I also have a bistro table along the garage wall for sunny morning coffees, and two loungers to enjoy alongside the pool.
These intentional spaces make me feel better. I DO feel nourished when I walk into them and it didn’t require a home reno, just some following of my heart. I feel like I have infused these spaces with good memories, love, joy … and some perspective of what’s possible in other spaces. I even made money selling the extra big things I no longer needed.
Next up … THE GARAGE!
Stay tuned and if this resonates with you, share your before and after pics on social and tag me!
Take care,
Jennifer
