SJennySeveral people have told me that the secret to a happy marriage/good relationships was to never go to bed angry. In other words, don’t get into a fight or an argument and then go to sleep seething with all that anger. It is good advice and it’s just as helpful when it comes to successful relationships and forgiveness. The feeling you go to bed with is likely going to be the one you wakeup with AND your magical subconscious mind is going to be working overtime while you try to sleep.
So, let’s carry this over to forgiveness. The basic idea is that you shouldn’t go to sleep while you’re still angry or upset (if you have been triggered) about something that’s happened in the past. Instead, open your heart and forgive. Not only will you sleep much better, your subconscious will be dialed into forgiveness and help you strengthen your resolve and your new habit to forgive. Even if you journal before bed to set down that which weight heavy on you. Our brains think we will forget stuff as we sleep so writing it down assures your brain it will be there in the morning to deal with so you can get a deeper rest. Because we know forigveness is a process, this is helpful when you can’t get from point A to point B in one day.
Before you go to bed, or while you’re lying there, waiting to go to sleep, think about your day and explore how you feel. If you find yourself angry, or even annoyed about something, do what you can to make your peace with it. Think about the positive aspects of what’s happened, or even in your life in general. Realize that what you’re angry about wasn’t as earth-shatteringly important as you initially thought. Do what you can to make your peace with it and find your joy and happiness before you go to sleep.
If you’re having a hard time letting go, try writing a letter about it. Address it to the person you’re angry with and pour out your heart. You don’t have to actually send it or share it. The simple act of putting it all down on paper is often enough to lighten your burden AND clarify your own thoughts and feelings. It will also help you let go of your anger and make your peace.
In yesterday’s post we talked about meditation and prayer. Both can be very helpful in processing anger and letting go of it. Pray on what happened, meditate on it, and with a little practice and goodwill, I’m sure you’ll be able to let it go and find your rest.
As an added bonus, you’ll sleep much better without all those negative thoughts floating in your head. You’ll be more relaxed and as a result able to sleep more soundly. That, in turn, sets you up for a much better day upon waking. Give it a try and see for yourself if you don’t become a much happier and more pleasant person when you start to refuse to go to sleep angry.
