SJennyJournal Prompt: Are you JUDGING some element of the event that you are seeking to forgive?
It can be easy to play the victim, don’t you think? It’s much easier to play the damsel in distress, or the one who was done wrong. It makes us feel righteous and allows us to hold on to our grudges. For many of us, it’s our default reaction whenever something bad happens. It’s easier to blame someone else and make it their fault, whether it’s the truth or not.
More importantly, it allows us to sit back and reaction instead of taking control and responsibility for our life and how we feel. But this victim mentality comes with a pretty heavy price tag. That price is our independence and our pursuit of happiness. Knowing that, don’t you think it’s about time you started to take back control of your feelings and your life?
The first step to taking back control is forgiveness. Forgiving someone for a wrong done to you – be it real or imagined – is an important first step. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they’ve done. It doesn’t mean that you forget what they’ve done. It doesn’t mean that you will love them, or even chose to interact with them going forward. What it means is that you make the decisions for yourself that it’s time to let things go so you can move on.
Forgiveness is an act of taking control of your future and your destiny. It means letting go of pain and anger. It means giving up on that grudge and those feelings of getting even or even revenge. You do that so you can make room for the fun, happy and exciting things ahead. Here’s the thing. You can’t choose to be happy and invite positive experiences into your life while you’re busy plotting revenge and harbouring anger. You can’t take control and play victim at the same time.
Yes, when something bad happens and someone has done you wrong it’s normal to feel angry. We do get hurt and we feel resentful for that pain caused. But then we choose to move on. We forgive so we can move forward with our lives. It doesn’t mean we condone what the other person did. It doesn’t mean that we’re giving in or giving up. It simply means that we chose to pick up the reigns and plot a better future. It means that we take control of the path we walk in life and the destiny that waits. Isn’t it about time you started taking back control? If so, start by forgiving those around you for what they’ve done to you. You may just be pleasantly surprised how good and empowering it feels to be the one in control again.
IF YOU STRUGGLE: Please consider asking yourself what part of the “event” or “offender” you judge and how you judge them/it. I realized at one point letting go of the judgement that I had around events or people’s actions, really helped me to be able to recall events without the emotional reaction that followed. Over time these things held less and less power over me.
