SJennyToday’s Journal Prompt: Have you ever had a change in perspective and suddenly everything had changed for the better? Do you feel like a change in perspective could help you forgive?
THIS MAY BE THE POST THAT CHANGES YOUR LIFE.
What I have been speaking about up until now is what I would consider traditional forgiveness. It is the concept of forgiveness we likely are all familiar with. However, what if there was another kind of forgiveness that we don’t learn much about?
Forgiveness is so important. But, why is it so hard? What if we are looking at forgiveness from a skewed perspective? Now, what I am about to share is not that one way is better than another but simply, if you could consider forgiveness from your SOUL’S perspective rather than just your HUMAN perspective … you may feel a big shift and forgiveness may come to you more easily. This is called RADICAL FORGIVENESS. I am just asking you to consider this approach … I have and there are still some parts I struggle with but it has really expanded my ability to forgive.
(A MUST READ!)
Here is a story that helps demonstrate what RADICAL FORGIVENESS is and how it differs from TRADITIONAL FORGIVENESS.
I want to share a very powerful quote with you today.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.~Lewis B. Smedes
The key to why forgiveness is so important to find happiness is in this one little quote. What you’ll find out once you start practicing forgiveness is that it is very freeing. The strange thing is that we don’t even realize how much the pain, anger, resentment, and grudges we hold in when we ignore forgiveness hold us back. By choosing to be resentful towards the person who’s done us wrong, we create our own little prison that keeps us trapped in those negative feelings.
When we make the conscious decision to forgive and put in the work and effort it may take to reach true forgiveness, we find that we’re setting ourselves free. Looking back, it doesn’t come as that big of a surprise, does it? (OKAY – I GET THIS BUT IT IS RADICAL FORGIVENESS THAT GAVE ME THE TOOLS TO DO THIS!)
One of the most common misconceptions about forgiveness is that it is always about the other person. We tend to think that when we forgive, we’re freeing the person we’re mad at. We think that they are feeling bad and hoping for our forgiveness. While there are certainly times when that’s the case, more often than not, they don’t even realize how much they’ve hurt us. They’ve long moved on and don’t waste another thought on the matter. In the meantime, we’re sitting here, stewing, and holding on to our anger.
Because we hold on to anger and grudges, we can’t move on. We can’t get to a point where we let go of those negative feelings. And since we’re so wrapped up in anger and pain, we’re missing out on all the good stuff around us. Forgiveness can fix that.
Forgiveness often isn’t about making the other party feel better. It isn’t about letting them get away with something, accepting them, or even bringing them back into our lives…. Far from it. You can forgive someone for your own sake and still chose to have nothing further to do with them. You can chose to let them back into your life without loving them the same way you have before. The point is that you have choices when you embrace forgiveness. The ball is in your court and you decide how to move forward. Maybe that means having them part of your life in one form or another. Maybe it means never speaking to them again. It doesn’t really matter. The important part is that you cut the ties (or heal the wounds) that gave them power over you and how you felt. They no longer cause you anger and pain and that’s a very freeing feeling.
OKAY – BUT HOW DO WE BEGIN FORGIVING? We can shift our perspective a bit to get knocked off the “I am stuck” button. This book, and the PDF I linked to above were game changers for me! You can grab the book on Amazon and I have provided affiliate links below should you wish to look into this in greater detail …
Radical Forgiveness (Amazon.com)
Radical Forgiveness (Amazon.ca)
If you love podcasts or want this book in Audio format, if you sign up for a FREE Trial at AUDIBLE, you can get this book for free! It’s the perfect book to have on your phone when you go for your daily walks or commutes!
Radical Forgiveness (FREE AUDIO BOOK – USA)
Radical Forgiveness (FREE AUDIO BOOK – CAN)
Okay – that is plenty for one blog post but dig into the linked article up top and really have a ponder because this is LIFE CHANGING! If suddenly you feel yourself getting excited and you want to learn more, THIS is the book you need! If you think this is a strange concept, that is okay too – I am asking you to simply consider other perspectives for a moment and see if it helps YOU!
